Monday, 29 March 2010
Monday, 22 March 2010
What about the innocence? The fact that nobody bothers you? And the biggest argument of all, the no baggage thing.
Innocence: How lame is this for a reason? So you've had a tough time being a teenager, did a thing or two and got into a wat load of trouble. Isn't that what being a teenager all about? Would you rather be the one with a sad teenage, or the cool grandpa on the rocking chair telling those wide-eyed kids about the way you had to wait a mammoth ten minutes before your browser decided to sign you into yahoo mail. Which one would you rather be?
I hate being the innocent one. I'd rather be guilty of doing something (and getting to know something in the process) than an innocent one in the corner of the room with the puppy face. I'm not saying I want to know everything. Nobody knows everything. But should that stop you from trying to know as many things as possible? Our brain's supposed to have a finite amount of space for memories and trivia. Why not fill it up? Even better, overflow it?
Being a kid is like being a white board. It's got nothing in it. It gives you so much potential, so much to do. And not doing anything is probably the worst decision you can make in your terribly insignificant life. I'd happily be the bloke shouting out the wrong answers, than the dunce who's stitched his mouth up.
It's fun being lonely. Solitary confinement would do me a lot of good, as opposed to what many people might think. I like being lonely and left alone. But to give up the wonderful friends I have been blessed with, for some moments with my self is not what I'd do. I still manage to find some time for myself, just the voices in my head and me, despite all the friends and people surrounding me. Besides, loneliness can never be permanent (at least that's the lie I tell myself).
Everybody has baggage. George Clooney would agree, or at least the character he played in Up In The Air would agree. Whatever you say and do, you just can't have a clean slate. You can shift cities, go to a place where nobody knows you or has even heard of you, but there, you are your biggest enemy. Your mind, with all the stories, memories and strands of connections, will keep bringing back your heaviest moments.
I don't want to be a Child again.
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
The usually crowded and chaotic market in model town bore a desolate look last night. Typically bustling shops had either pulled down their shutters or had one or two customers. Even the street lights were switched off barring a few. I had finished with my dinner and was walking down the pavement all alone, with a large cup of sprite in my hand. I couldn’t help but notice the calm atmosphere of the otherwise noisy market place.
I looked around a bit. I was in no rush to get back to my room. I sat down on the steps of one of the shops and was just humming some random song when it hit me. I was lonely. That thought wasn’t new to me. But somehow, last night, it brought back memories. Memories that were associated with the moon and it was pretty hard to ignore that white disc hanging in the sky, I think it was full moon last night.
The moon has played a rather pivotal role in my life. First there were those days during school when I spent time on my terrace star gazing just before dinner, dirtying the back of my t-shirt quite considerably. Then there were those days when the terrace of my friends played host to my moon gazing, along with a companion, more often than not. And more recently, in Delhi, when I go up to the terrace and sit on the parapet wall and simply gaping at the most beautiful thing in the whole universe.
Gone are those days, without doubt. As I sat alone on the pavement, my thoughts taking me from memory to memory, world to world, I reminisced. The recollections filled my head and I had a burst of emotions. I was happy for those times, those memories that have, in their own little ways, shaped my life. I was sad because I knew that those days had come to an end.