It was walking all that distance in the sun, it was whirring away in the bike. It was being scolded early in the morning for being insufferably wrong, it was being correct. It was the need to emphasise, it was not giving a damn. It was unsurmountable guilt, it was plain innocence.
It was wanting to catch her eye, it was giving her the slip. It was not knowing what to do if the attention was caught, it was showing her the finger. It was agonizing to even face her, it was joy beyond imagination to meet her. It was unbelievable suspense trying to figure it out, it was plain as day what the intentions were. It was spending ages thinking of ways to impress her, it was slitting away to another room at the sight of her. It was concern when she jabbed her toe, it was the poker face.
It was being me, it was being myself. It was being the usual stupid self, it was a brain wave moment. It was a moment of unforgivable foolishness, it was an epiphany. It was self-depreciation, it was boasting. It was gratitude, it was ungratefulness. It was self-sacrificing, it was an ego the size of a mountain.
It was happiness, it was sadness. It was the idiocy, it was a stroke of genius.
It was me, it was stupid. It was me, it was brilliant.