Tuesday, 1 March 2011

It is what it is. Why it is, nobody knows.

After numerous start-stops, I finally filled my head with enough things to write about. My memory needs a huge overhaul, it's almost non-existent now. So bad, I don't remember the names of half the movies I've watched, it worries me. 

My sanity has been a rare commodity. It comes and goes in meek installments, teasing and harassing me with its speed of disappearance. Yet, I wouldn't quite complain about the insanity either. Middle ground has been found, anchors have been laid. 

As for work, shit happened, but I'm clawing my way out of it, or so I tell myself. I don't want to move to Pune now, can't and won't. Sorry. It's simply too much to leave behind and for what? My own good? They say selfishness is acceptable, but this isn't a question of selfishness or selflessness, it's a question of the sanity of a person I care about very deeply. 

Love and other drugs. Mini spates of the former and none of the latter. As for the curious noses, stay off. Those who question the claim, beware of retribution, for it will be swift.

In other news, my love for the wonderful subject of anthropology grew by Andre the Giant's size leaps mainly due to two reasons. The first is obvious, an issue had closed at office and I had a day to laze around before beginning work on the next bunch of stories. A few hours of random browsing and multiple tabs later, I came around to googling universities in UK that offer anthropology. Before windows could threaten me with another crash, I had browsed through all option credits, mandatory credits and even chosen the credits I would pick. 
As for reason no two. It's becoming more and more obvious to me that humans interest me beyond anything. Given my reclusive status, interaction isn't something I'm particularly keen on. How else to study humans you ask (may be you don't, but bear with me)? Sit in a corner and observe. Simple as that. Two individuals have struck me beyond anything I have ever witnessed before. The sheer simplicity of the first and the daunting complexity of the other has kept my mind active. Interactions with them have been fruitful and the conclusion from hours of rambling is that humans are ruddy interesting. 

Two other people I've chanced upon knowing of late have been quite amusing too. I've learnt so many things from the two of them in such a short span of time that it both worries me and infuses great enthusiasm and hope. I know a LP with scratches would've probably stopped by now, but I keep harping on about the same thing. It's a freaking small world and I hate that it is so. Probability is such a bitch. 

As far as general existence is concerned, I guess I must be jumping like a bunny that has ear fire. My work is brilliant. Office is just 15 mins away, even if a bus overturns and blocks two lanes of the road, I can reach office in under 45 minutes. I watch movies or TV shows at will. Listen to the most brilliant of music. And yet, as only I can explain it, I whine. I whine and I brood. Only because that's the only way I know. I abuse happiness if it finds me. I like myself less when I abuse happiness. Ergo, I try and keep my distance from it. 

Grass on neither side is greener, it's the neutral zone that's the greenest. 

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